About Me and this Website
When I first started this research, the cognitive dissonance was almost overwhelming. On the internet, I was reading and seeing things that indicated something had gone terribly wrong in America but in the small town where I was living, everything seemed perfectly normal. Through my computer screen, I saw nightmares while outside, I could hear lawn mowers, children laughing, dogs barking – all of the normal sounds that indicate all is well. When I would go to the store or other public places, I would search people’s faces looking for some sign that they knew things weren’t right but I didn’t see any signs. I was completely alone with my terror – except for the faceless and nameless few friends I found on the internet who were as concerned as I was.
I tried talking to my family about what I was seeing which was a completely different America than our shared perceived vision that had developed over my lifetime. That was a mistake as most Internet activists can attest. Minds are closed and sleeping up until the time when they personally receive some kind of shock that clues them to the possibility that there is something going on about which they were unaware. Then and only then are they willing to listen and to receive new information that alters their world view.
I had to reconcile the information I was getting on the Internet with my life off the Internet. I had to prove that I was not crazy, not imagining things and not believing fiction produced by unreliable sources on the Internet. Since I had been a Computer Systems Analyst/Programmer and I knew how to use the Internet to search for information, I did what came naturally. I applied my skills and talent as an Analyst in a deliberate mission to figure out the Who, What, Where, Why and When of the differences in my perception of America versus what I was seeing on the Internet. I had to rebuild my mental map of the world and how it works.
One thing led to another and I started building logical connections from one research topic to another –